2 /5 Reviews Bathroom (The Golden Plunger Critic): Walking into this bathroom felt like stepping into a time machine that only goes back to the brownest decade imaginable. Everything is tan tile, brown tile, and “more brown just in case.” It’s a design choice, I guess.
The shared bathroom is cramped. You get about three feet between the hand dryers and the sinks — just enough space to awkwardly side-shuffle so you don’t booty-bump someone washing their hands. The floor-length urinals are… bold. Especially when whoever used them before me had the aim of a sprinkler on a windy day. The floor was wet, and it wasn’t raining.
The automatic flushers looked like they’d survived multiple wars and were so scratched up they barely recognized I existed. The floor overall was tidy, but that wet zone… yeah.
The sink area gave me whiplash. The soap dispenser looked like it was borrowed from a sci-fi movie, but the trough sink was giving “retro steakhouse basement.” The water? Arctic. I tried the little temperature lever, but it had the structural integrity of a wish. Didn’t move at all. The soap was blue, industrial, and had the texture of meringue — so that was interesting.
The pink NO VAPING signs plastered everywhere were a vibe. I get why they’re there, but nothing says “welcome” like being yelled at in two languages before you even wash your hands.
I also checked the family restroom. Small space, immediately greeted by an open baby changing station like it was lunging at me. Another bright pink no-vape sign. The automatic air freshener looked like it had died months ago. Toilet was clean except for some lime scale (Zep Acidic would fix that right up). Toilet paper was on its last leg and the trash was one good sneeze away from spilling over.
Sink in there? Also freezing. I don’t know how they’re getting water that cold but congratulations, I guess.
On my way out I spotted two sad, empty Glade plugins staring at me from the corner like they’d given up hope.
Final verdict:
Not terrible, not great — just aggressively “meh.” Outdated, cold water everywhere, weird layouts, and several things on the brink of giving up. Could be improved with some maintenance and, honestly, a redesign that includes at least one color other than brown.