1 /5 Marybeth Gill: My experiences at this church growing up were traumatic. My family was active in this church when I was a teen in the 90s, but largely because of abuse I was experiencing, I stopped attending, and acted out in really very typical ways for a teen. How did they deal with this? The three male “elders” picked me up unexpectedly from high school, sat me down, and gave me a printed ultimatum stating that if I didnt return by a set date, they would disfellowship me. When I did not show up - because even at 17 I could see that the whole thing was disturbing and ridiculous - the minister made the announcement about me being disfellowshipped. This was in the presence of my parents and friends I went to school with. The whole thing was unnecessary because I had stopped attending and participating, but nevertheless it was traumatic and humiliating to learn about the theatrics of the disfellowshipping event afterward, including people crying and needing to be escorted out, etc. I’m not kidding. I won’t go into further detail but suffice it to say that the process was similar to shunning in other fundamentalist groups.
Thank goodness for qualified therapists and the advantage of age - Ive come to wholly value myself despite the abuse and the way I was treated by church leaders and many members when I was still so young. Besides all of this, I’ll just add that the church is patriarchal and hierarchical in their beliefs and practices, and they believe they are free from religious dogma (?) and that they are uniquely practicing the true meaning of scripture. They’ll bomb you with kindness and provide plenty of fun activities and all will be well if you continue to fit within the restrictive confines of their group. Read between the lines if any of that raises an eyebrow.
